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How to manage siblings jealousy

The rivalry between siblings is a common practice in families where there are two or more children. It becomes a real problem when one of them starts bullying the other and create a situation of war zone.

One moment you are at home, doing normal chores and looking at your children how peaceful they are, and the next moment you hear certain noises, and your peaceful home is turned into a war zone. With flying cushions, loud language and calling names, the war is in full action and you are helpless trying to ceasefire between the opponents a.k.a your children!

Now, this is not a healthy family situation! I mean, the occasional fights and riots are common and sometimes even justified, but when it comes to everyday fights and you feel your home is no longer a peaceful place and is always endangered to be entered into a war zone, one has to worry. Because, ideally your parenting is questioned and you are held responsible for your children’s actions especially if they are young.

Now, in such a situation where your children are experiencing rivalry and jealousy, you can help them to land in a much better place and have peace with each other in many ways. Below, we have listed some of the most helpful ways to overcome sibling rivalry so that you can have the peace of your home returned.

  • First things first, let your first baby know about the arrival of his brother/sister

It is imperative that you involve your first child in the process when you are expecting your second child. Studies have shown that first babies get all the attention, love and care and are tuned to all the love showered upon them by both mother and father. Now, what happens is that when another baby arrives, initially he may not accept him/her at all and even if he does will be for a short period of time. So, what happens is that a jealousy and hatred is born against the other child which continues into years. Now, to cater to this problem efficiently, an ideal solution would be to involve your first child in the whole process of your second baby birth. Inform him about having another sibling, council him about the benefits and fun that they could have together. Ask his suggestions in buying toys and clothes for the baby. It is observed that parents who do that, have lesser chances of having children who are at war with each other all the time.

  • Never compare things like grades, achievements, style, and others between your children
You should not compare material things between your children. It is frequently seen, that parents compare their children and chant about one’s achievements with other children in front of him. Now, two things happen from this. One, the sibling who is praised gets a superior feeling and consider it his right to mock and bully others because he is good in the eyes of his parents. Second, other children might be appreciative of their sibling’s achievement, but the bully attitude generates an automatic resentment towards the bullying sibling and what happens as a result can be seen in the form of the whole house turned upside down. So, in order to maintain a healthy relationship between your children, never compare them in front of each other and be appreciative of the individual talent and abilities they possess.

  • Do not interfere unless necessary
Yes, do not do that! Refereeing to the match between your children is doing them and the situation no good. You have to understand that putting off the fight for some time is not the ideal solution. Rather, you need to think on a long term basis. You need for the behavior of your children. And treat them equally without favoring any one. Logically analyze the solution, and hold all of them responsible and devise a way for them to be tolerable to each other. Punishment is not always an option. You can assign them with things like additional homework, study hours, helping with the chores, and etc.

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